Kaiba's party
by randomgirl40
Summary: Kaiba is feeling lonley on his birthday. so he decides to have a PARTY! and all the YGOTAS, YGXTAS and YGOTAS 5ds and Naruto abridged characters are invited. did i mention its abridged?
1. Chapter 1

**ME: HEEEYY! So I was reading a total drama Fanfic when they played 7 minutes in heaven but with blindfolds. So I'm writing a YU-GI-OH! Abridged Fanfic like it.  
SETO: just write the stupid Fanfic already!  
ME: oh. Alright don't get your Joey loving knickers in a twist! Any way in the reviews choose two Random Main of Minor characters for me to put in the closet!  
Disclaimer: ME: Ryou! I don't own you! RYOU: tea and crumpets! I would hope not!  
PS: all Yami's and Hikari's have their own bodies!  
****_**

Prologue – the phone call.

it was Seto Kaiba's birthday and the CEO was feeling kinda lonely. So he picked up his mobile and dialled the only number that wasn't for work.  
"Nyeh? Money bags? Why are ya calling me?" Joey's annoying voice asked down the phone.  
"Wheeler, I'm having a party. Invite all your annoying friends." Kaiba replied.  
"Even Naruto?" Joey questioned. Seto sighed.  
"Even Naruto. Oh, the YUGIOH! Antagonists can come too!" the billionaire answered.  
"Nyeh? Ooh can we play dat game with ta closet!" Joey exclaimed.  
"Uh. Sure mutt." The CEO had no idea what he saw in this hyperactive furry.  
"Oi'll bring my blindfolds!" Joey squealed.  
"Why do you hav-?"  
"Dats for me ta know and for you ta find out!" Kiba then hung up on his 'friend'.

BEEP! BEEP!  
"Nyeh? Kaiba? Are ya dere?" BROOKLYN RAGE!" Joey yelled at his switched off phone. At that moment I'm bringing sexy back started playing and Duke Devlin walked in followed by Tristan Taylor.  
"I'm not a witch! Tell him Joey!" Duke pleaded. Tristan glared at the other two males in the room.  
"He must be a witch! HE TURNED ME INTO A NEWT!" Tristan protested "I got better." Joey just laughed at his two friends.  
"Well dats nice! Any way I got great news!" Joey announced.  
"Is it that I got that modelling job?" asked Duke.  
"Nope." Joey told them.  
"Does it involve hanging Bakura!" Questioned Tristan.  
"Why would we want to do dat?" Joey quizzed.  
"Ummm no reason." Tristan answered.  
"So we got invited to Kaiba's party!" Serenity then walked down the stairs.  
"Whats up big brother?" she asked.  
"We are going to a party! Invite all your friends!" her elder brother replied.  
"Even the Fanfic authoress?"  
"Even her!"

"Greetings my evil council!" Marik Ishtar announced. He looked around to see only his room mate Bakura.  
"Marik everyone else went to Kaiba's bloody birthday party." He informed the blond.  
"Oh." Marik realised. "Well let us crash this party! With the help of the FANFICTION AUTHORESS!" Bakura sighed.  
"Can't we just do it ourselves?"  
"You can have your own body!"  
"I'm in!" just then a redheaded girl walked out of nowhere followed by a taller girl with sapphire blue hair.  
"Well let's get going shall we?" the redhead asked. They then realised she had a cocker spaniel with her. "That is Maxi. Touch him and die!" Ryou and Melvin then came out of the shadows.  
"Hello host." Bakura said through gritted teeth. Ryou smiled and waved at him.  
"its bloody nice to have my own body again!" he chirped.  
"You said it mini kitty!" Marik agreed. Melvin smirked at his hikari.  
"Hello Marik! Can I have a hug?" he asked. But the fanfiction author ordered the bluenette to restrain him.  
"Oh yeah. This is Amber. My bodyguard. She shall make sure no one dies before we get to Kaiba's mansion." The redhead informed them. "btw you may call me Lilly. But only for this Fanfic. Now to the Marikmobile!"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1 – couple number 1!

DING DONG! Seto Kaiba opened his mansion door to find Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, Mako Tsunami and an unknown woman on his patio. He grimaced at the minor characters. He was expecting the mutt and his friends to show up first.  
"Me and the ocean heard you were having a party!" Mako grinned. "This is my wife, the ocean." He gestured to the beautiful woman next to him.  
"Hello, I'm Atlanta, Mako's wife." She introduced. "And this is my pet fish, Finley." She pointed to the fish in the in her purse.  
"I'm Seto Kaiba. Welcome to my party." The billionaire grimaced. He let the couple in.  
"Happy birthday!" Sakura smiled. Naruto pulled out some cigarettes.  
"I bought you some cigarettes! Then I smoked them!" he announced.  
"Do you have any sharp objects? So I can cut myself with them?" asked Sasuke.  
"No, because we have a Mokuba and a Noah." Seto casually replied. "Noah would use them to short circuit the electricity, and Mokuba… well I wouldn't let him near anything sharp anyway…"

The group followed Kaiba down a long passageway. When they eventually got to the room where they would play party games. Mokuba Kaiba then walked in.  
"Hey big brother! Is it time for me to be in the Fanfic yet?" Mokuba asked.  
"SHUT UP MOKUBA!" everyone shouted at the 7 year old.  
"WAAAAA!" Mokuba ran off crying. DING DONG! The doorbell went. Seto went down the long passage way top get to the door.

The CEO opened the door to reveal… Joey, Tristan, Yugi, Yami, Serenity, Duke and Tea. He groaned at the group in front of him.  
"Happy super special birthday Kaiba!" Yugi chirped.  
"Yes because everyone spends their birthdays with their friends! And their friends go because their friendly friends! Who enjoy each others company because of their friendly friendship and-" Tea started.  
"MINDCRUSH!" Announced the pharaoh. "Happy birthday fancy pants!"  
"I like pudding!" Tristan exclaimed.  
"Does this birthday party have dice?" Duke asked.  
"What about ponies! I love ponies!" Serenity giggled. Seto nodded. This was going to be a loooong party. He led the protagonists down the corridor.

DING DONG! Who was it this time? Seto got up to go answer the door again. Standing there was Marik, Melvin, Ryou, Bakura, Pegasus, Zombie boy and two girls he had never met before.  
"We have come to crash your frigging birthday party!" Marik grinned.  
"Marik stop being such a wanker!" growled Yami Bakura. "Right here's some stolen YU GI OH GX trading cards."  
"Greetings binky boy!" Melvin smirked. "I brought along two vic- I mean friends for the party!"  
"Cut to the chase already! Happy birthday! I'm Random and this is Amber." The mysterious girl gestured towards her friend. "I'm writing this Fanfic so you must do as I say!"  
"Yeah!" Amber announced.  
"No, just no Amber." Random shook her head. "Anyway! Lead us to the living room!"  
"Bloody fangirls…" murmured Bakura.  
"Yami! We must love all fangirls! Even the crazy ones!" Ryou disciplined.  
"Thank you Ry!" Random then hugged Ryou.  
"Get off my host!" Bakura yelled.  
"Tendershipping!" Squealed Amber. Seto groaned.  
"Look, you can do all your fangirly stuff later. Joey has organised a party game for us." He informed the antagonists…. And co.

They headed back to the living room. Later the rest of the YU GI OH! Characters had arrived. Joey ordered them to sit in a circle and put their names in a hat.  
"Serenity! My love! Come and sit next to me!" Tristan exclaimed.  
"You stay away from my sista or else your face will look like Duke's behind!" Joey yelled.  
"But my behind is very sexy!" Duke protested.  
"Let's get this frigging game frigging over with!" Marik interrupted.  
"Yes please do." Agreed Bakura.  
"Well someone is chosen ta choose a name from da hat." Joey explained.  
"He said hat. Hehehe." Rex chuckled.  
"Yeah Hehehe." Weevil sniggered.  
"As oi was sayin' the person who is picked from da hat has ta go inta that closet over dere." Joey jerked his finger at a closet. "And they do whateva dey want for seven minutes." Everyone nodded.  
"Excuse me! I have a question!" announced Amber.  
"Nyeh?" Joey replied. "Go ahead strange gierl who seems vaguely familiar."  
"I'm just a bodyguard! I don't have to play. Do I?" Amber asked.  
"Adai? Everyone has ta play!" Joey answered.  
"Fine…." Amber grumbled. "Good for nothing, flea ridden, dirty minded-"

"AMBER! You must not insult the furry!" Random scolded. "Anyway…. Yusei! You go first!"  
"Fine." Yusei muttered something under his breath that no one heard. Everyone put on their blindfolds. Yusei picked a name from the hat. He groaned and walked over to the person he had picked. Taping them lightly on the arm the female he had picked groaned as well. But she let the duellist lead her to the cupboard.

"Sooo. This is awkward…" murmured Sakura. "I was actually expecting Sasuke."  
"Hmm what has he got that I don't have?" Yusei asked. "I have an awesome motorbike and a voice that makes the fangirls swoon." Sakura giggled when he announced this.  
"But ninjas are much sexier than duellists." Sakura explained. "All the other ninja girls in ninja village have ninja boyfriends!"  
"God help us all…" muttered Yusei. "oh well I only have six minutes left in here."  
"Hey look! It's a picture of Kaiba when he was five!" Sakura exclaimed. "Awww wasn't he so cute back then!"  
"Huh? So you're going through this Kaiba guy's memories?" Yusei questioned.

"….. Pretty much… yeah." Replied Sakura.

"Hey whats this?" Yusei picked up a picture of a blond in a dog suit.  
"Hey isn't that the guy who explained the game?" Sakura quizzed.  
"I think so.." Yusei answered. They both shuddered.  
"Why would Kaiba have a picture of another guy who is dressed up in a dog suit?" asked Sakura.  
"Our 7 minutes are up. Lets get outta here and never speak of 'this' again." Yusei told the pink haired girl.  
"Agreed."


	3. Chapter 3

Seto glanced at his guests who were still sitting in a circle. For some strange reason Yusei and Sakura were glancing at him.  
"Okay! Toime for someone else ta have a go!" Joey announced. "Oh, hey moneybags. Why don't chu go?" Seto grimaced but nodded.  
"Well then fancypants, get on with it! I have a limey to beat at a card game!" Yami's voice boomed.  
"Is that a challenge pharaoh?!" both thief king and Yami Bakura questioned. "He was talking to me!" they growled at each other.  
"Would you two calm down?!" Ryou ordered. Bakura turned to his hikari.  
"What did you say to me?" he hissed.  
"N-nothing, I-I said N-nothing." Ryou stammered.  
"That's what I thought." Bakura smirked.  
"Hey!" Random yelled. "You have no right to treat Ryou like that!"  
"Oh. And what, pray tell are you going to do? You're just a silly little fangirl." Bakura protested.  
"Oh you did not just say that…" Amber trailed off. Just then Random jumped on Yami Bakura and started punching him. "Oh no. this is very bad."  
"ARGH! SOMEONE GET THIS CRAZY FANGIRL OFF OF ME!" Bakura screamed.  
"It's actually kind of funny…" Ryou replied. "S-sorry Y-Yami."

"LET'S GET ON WITH THE FRIGGING GAME ALREADY!" Marik yelled.  
"Fine, put on your blindfolds so I can get this over with." Grumbled Kaiba. "This is all your fault puppy." He glared at Joey. Random unleashed Yami Bakura.  
"PUPPY! EEEEE!" she squealed. "Alright we'll all put our blindfolds on! C'mon guys!" her and everyone else put on their blindfolds.  
"Wow, people actually listened to you!" Amber chuckled under her blindfold. Kaiba picked a name out of the hat. (**A/N does anyone remember where the hat came from?)** He groaned but went over to the person who muttered something under his breath in agreement.

"Ya know moneybags dis wouldn't be all that bad if chu were a gierl." Joey explained. Seto glared at him.  
"Shut up mutt." He growled. "Man I hate puppyshipping."  
"Whats dat?" Joey asked the brunette who was sitting next to him.  
"You really don't want to know…" the CEO replied. Joey crept closer to Kaiba.  
"Or do I?" He whispered. Kaiba blushed.  
"Uh, Joey you wouldn't mind um backing off a bit would you?" the billionaire asked.  
"But chu like it. Don't chu moneybags?" Joey giggled. "While we're here we could have some fun." Seto's eyes widened.  
"B-but J-Joey y-you don't m-mean…."  
"Yeah dats exactly what I mean!"  
"ARGH!" Kaiba ran out of the closet at that second.

"Huh. Wonder what went on in there…" Lilly wondered. "What do you think Amber?"  
"I think all puppyshippers reading this will enjoy this chapter." Her bodyguard replied. Mokuba then walked down the stairs.  
"Hey Random! Can I be in the Fanfic ye" Mokuba started.  
"SHUT UP MOKUBA!" everyone yelled.  
"WAAAA!" Mokuba, once again, ran off crying.  
"Guys." Noah started. "I think we were a little to harsh on him."  
"Who are you?!" asked Gosuburo.  
"Father! Its me! Your biological son!" Noah cried.  
"I HAVE NO SON!" Gosuburo yelled. Noah then ran off crying.  
"Hmm. Wonder whats wrong with him…" Random wondered.


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: Well, I finally decided to do a disclaimer! Yay me! Well I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or the abridged series because I'm not Japanese, I'm British. So I'm not Kasuki Takahasi. I'm also not a guy, so I'm not LK. So in conclusion I cannot own Yu-Gi-Oh in anyway. Soo yeah. DISCLAIMER OVER!**

Joey glanced over to Seto who had moved top the other end of the circle since they had been in the closet. Bakura then broke the silence.  
"Okay this is hopeless!" he shouted. "We've sitting here for a ra forsaken hour!" "Well it's not our fault that the Fanfic author **never **updates!" Marik glared at Random.  
"Well excuuuuse me!" Random yelled. "It's not like I actually go to school! Unlike some people…" She turned to Yugi. "Not that I'm pointing any fingers…"  
"Well let's just get on with it… Marik why don't chu have a go? Then no one can get embarrassed…" Joey suggested, he then hid his face so Kaiba couldn't see him.

Marik reached into the hat and groaned.  
"Well at least it's a girl…" he muttered. He then walked over to the girl, who cursed under her breath.  
"Well at least it's not my brother…" she murmured. They walked over to the closet and sat inside it.

"Well, Marik, this is very awkward…" Amber informed the Egyptian.  
"Yeah, I don't know why, but it is…" Marik agreed.  
"Maybe it's because it's clear to see you like Bakura!" Amber pressed. Marik's eyes widened.  
"N-no I d-don't! Who could possibly think that?!" Marik protested. Amber rolled her blood red eyes.  
"Everyone thinks that! Duh!" She replied. "Anyways… I don't have to be here! I can just pick up my phone and call my older brothers to pick me up!"  
"And leave us with Lilly? No frigging way!" Marik announced. "She scares me!"  
"Oh, **she **scares you? You should meet her best friend. Now that girl is **scary**! With a capital S!" Amber remarked. Marik laughed.  
"How could anyone be more scary than Random?" He inquired.  
"I know right?" Amber agreed with the blond. Her indigo blue hair bouncing at the movement of her head. "But D. Jay, that's what we call her, is the scariest thing thing since Sweeney Todd."  
"Oh, I didn't like that musical." Marik commented.  
"Nah me neither." Amber admitted. "waayy too gory."  
"Oh look our seven minutes are up!" Marik announced. "Well maybe we could hang out sometime!" Amber shook her head.  
"My brother's wouldn't allow it. They're waayy too protective." They walked out of the closet. "well see ya." Amber then walked over to her spot in the circle next to Random."


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I admit it! I don't own Yu Gi Oh! I'm so ashamed!**

Random glanced at the others sitting in a circle. Finally Amber broke the silence.  
"So who's next?" The bluenette asked. Cyrus reached to put his arm up, but Jaden whispered something in his ear, and he put it down. "Fine! Lilly! Use your AUTHORS POWA! To chose someone!"

"Gladly!" Random replied. "I chose... Yami!" Yami's eyes widened.  
"You can't expect me! To go in fancy pants' tatty old closet with some random girl!" He snapped.  
"Or boy..." Chuckled the thief king.  
"All right! You're asking for it! MIND CRU-!" He started.

"I hearby remove your awesome powers using authors convenience!" random boomed. Yami felt a bit drained.  
"Fine, I'll pick a name out of the hat.." Yami grumbled. "It better not be a bakura..."

He groaned at the name he had pulled out. He walked over to the girl and dragged her into the cupboard.

"Oh pharaoh! Isn't this romantic!" Tea squealed. "It isn't awkward at all because we are friends!" Yami groaned again. Why him?  
"Sure why not?" He murmured.  
"Do you want a milkshake!?" Tea asked. Yami was confused.  
"Why do you have a-" Yami questioned the brunette.  
"No reason!" Tea chirped.

When their 7 minutes were up Yami felt like hell. Tea, on the other hand, was completely happy.  
"That was a wonderful date pharaoh!" She exclaimed.  
"Tea, that wasn't a date-" Yami tried to explain.  
"Lalalalalala!" Tea plugged her fingers into her ears, walked back to her place in the circle and tripped over a drunk Dartz.  
"Oi! Am the awll pwowerfwull Dwartz!" He yelled. "Fwear mwe! Awister! Gwet mwe swomemore wine!" Allister obeyed.  
"Yes master Dartz!" He scurried off to Kaiba's kitchen.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Hello I am the disclaimer. Here to tell you that Random does not own Yu Gi Oh!, YGOTAS, Amber, Her love of MIKA or Me. Good day. Now I have to go appear in Aqualita's Fanfic.**

Still sitting in the circle, Seto was feeling very uncomfortable. Sakura and Yusei wouldn't stop staring at him, Yami Bakura was arguing with Melvin over who was the sexiest villain, Random/Lilly was calling some person called 'D Jay' and Joey was avoiding him. Finally, Little Kuriboh appeared out of nowhere.  
"Greetings! I am Little Kuriboh! Creator of Yu Gi Oh! Abridged!" he announced. "It has come to my attention that I am not in this Fanfic!" Random's eyes lit up.  
"Mr LK! OMR! I can't believe you're here! In person!" She squealed. "Can I have your autograph?!" LK agreed and signed the green shirt she was wearing.  
"Now, before I leave I have one last thing to say." He inhaled his breath. "4KIDS SUCK!" then the abridger disappeared.  
"Hey big brother! I wanna be like him when I grow up!" Serenity informed Joey.  
"Adai? Really Little Kuriboh?" Joey asked. "You could neva be as good as him!"

Serenity then ran away crying. But both Tristan and Duke ran after the red head.  
"That's your fault." Amber commented. Joey hung his head in shame.  
"All right! It's Ryou's go!" Random announced. "You can't back out of this Ry!" Ryou curled up in the corner in a little ball. But Amber picked him up, dragged him to the hat, sat him down and walked back over to Random.  
"There you go! Now chose a name!" Amber ordered the albino.  
"A-all right, y-you didn't n-need to c-carry me!" Ryou argued.

He picked a name and nearly screamed. But still he walked over to the person who smirked.  
"Well, well. This is going to be fun!" They grinned, making Ryou shiver.

"You know you don't have to do this right?" Ryou told them.  
"Oh, but little hikari. This will be fun!" Yami Bakura cackled.  
"Y-yami? What are you doing?" Ryou stammered as Bakura crawled towards him.  
"Giving the tender shippers what they want." The evil one replied. Ryou squeaked.  
"Y-Yami! Too close! Not ready!" Ryou squealed. "STOP!"

Melvin was sitting next to the closet, the psychopath heard the screams and squeals of Florence's hikari.  
"Huh? I wonder who's torturing mini kitty." He wondered, Melvin removed his blindfold. Where as Fluffy? "Oh he better not be in that closet!" Melvin then opened the door of the cupboard to reveal two fully clothed albinos tickling each other. "WHAT THE FRIG?!" Melvin yelled.

Yami Bakura coughed as he stopped tickling Ryou.  
"If you two never speak of this again, I shall never be mean to either of you again." The two other males agreed. "Good. Now I do believe we have a game to play." The trio then sat back down.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: YES! I officially own YuGiOh! No, no, I'm not serious. I'm joking, STOP ASKING ME IF I OWN THIS ANIME! :'(**

When Random hung up her phone she turned to her dog.  
"MAXI!" She squealed. "Where were you the last five chapters?!" Amber gasped.  
"BROKE THE FORTH WALL!" She squeaked.  
"Yeah so?" Lilly shrugged. "Isn't that what we've been doing this whole Fanfic?"  
"The fangirl has a point you know." Ryou added. "All we've done is break the forth wall and make puppyshipping hints."

"That is true." Marik agreed. "Anyhoo! Lets continue with the game!"  
"Well, I do believe its-" Bakura started.  
"HEY GUUUYYYYSSS!" Someone announced. "I heard you guuuyyss were in a Fanfic. Can iiii be in the Fanfic?"  
"NO WAY!" Amber yelled. Everyone stared at the bluenette. "What? He put my brother in a mental hospital."  
"Slender! My bestie!" Melvin grinned, ignoring her. "How's Kevin?"  
"Kevin is aaaaweeesoomeee!" Slendy grinned. "Hey look guuuyyss! Its my fiance's best friend!" the faceless being pointed at Random.

"I am also the self proclaimed godmother of Kevin AttwoodHeronMan!" she pointed out.  
"Whoa! Whoa! Back up a minute!" Melvin interrupted. "Slendy I thought we were buddys! Pals! BFFs!"  
"She caaalled diiibs!" Slenderman explained.  
"You can't just call dibs!" Marik pointed out. Maxi then snuck off again.

( Now in a place… Also known as THERE!)

"Ahh. Agent M!" Dr Doof announced. "I guess you came to rescue Perry the platypus!" Max shook his head. "Your not here for Perry?" Perry walked up to them, he had gotten out of whatever trap he was in this time. The platypus punched Doof and beckoned Maxi to follow him.

(Back to the place…. Also known as HERE!)

Naruto picked a name out of the hat, (seriously where did that hat come from?) and dragged the object chosen into the closet.  
"Oh cigarettes! We are alone at last!" Naruto then made out with said cigarettes.


End file.
